


Curse You, Belgium!

by TheQuiteExcellentBlog



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Humor, Randomness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQuiteExcellentBlog/pseuds/TheQuiteExcellentBlog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Turmoil in Arendelle as Elsa sails for Belgium over a diplomatic dispute and leaves Anna and her cousin, Rapunzel in charge of the kingdom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curse You, Belgium!

               Elsa sat at the breakfast table sipping her coffee while reading the morning mail. Not much had arrived this morning; just a few trade letters and a flyer for Wandering Oaken’s Trading Outpost and Sauna advertising the fact they now sold what they called “An After Sun Balm” to help sooth sun burn. Among the pile of letters she saw a letter from Belgium. Elsa took immediate notice of this and picked out this letter first; Arendelle had good relations with Belgium because they were the country’s biggest customer for chocolate. Elsa opened the letter excitedly hopping it was something letter telling her about some customer loyalty reward she had received or an invite to the fabled Belgium Chocolate Lakes she had heard about in myths and legends.

                She opened the letter and began to read with a delirious grin of excitement which swiftly dropped from her face as she read the contents.

                “What!?” she boomed with regal presence, freezing the coffee cup she held, the letter from Belgium, most of the breakfast table and floor and walls behind her.

The maid on duty leapt with fright and ran from the room as Elsa seethed with white hot fury in her eyes.

“How dare they?!” she declared again with a ferocious roar.

“What’s wrong, Elsa?” said Anna as she came charging in, effortlessly sliding on the ice on the floor and coming to halt by Elsa’s place at the table.

Rapunzel who was visiting closely followed but hadn’t the practice of her cousin when it came to skating on frozen floors and as such promptly slipped over and came to a stop and Anna’s feet.

“I’m ok!” declared Rapunzel as she stuck a thumb up in confirmation.

“So what’s wrong, Elsa” said Anna, ignoring Rapunzel’s attempts to stand like a new born dear.

“It’s Belgium! They’ve cut off our chocolate supply!” screamed the furious Elsa.

“They… w… what?” Anna stammered weakly.

“They cut off our supply chocolate” said Elsa, gesturing to letter “says it all here; we regret to inform you but we can no longer supply you chocolate along our established trade routes. Sorry for the inconvenience, your trade partner and confident, Belgium. This is an outrage! Isn’t that right, Anna! Anna?”

Anna had fainted from the shock of the news onto to poor Rapunzel who was now trapped under the dead weight of her cousin and struggling to get purchase on the slippery ice.

“No time to worry about that” said Elsa as she looked at Anna’s lolled out tongue and loosely shut eyes “I need to go to Belgium at once and demand the return of our chocolate! Come on Rapunzel, bring my sister into my study, I need to discuss some things with you both before I depart” Elsa then stood from her place at the table and swept from the room.

“Erm… ok, Elsa” said Rapunzel feebly.

She tried to stand once again but failed as Anna’s unconscious form weighed her down. Where had all her upper body strength gone? She thought. Three years without her long hair and using it to hoist herself up places and she’d become as weak as a kitten.

“A little help… please!” she called out “please?”

No one answered so she set about figuring out how to get her out of this mess.

 

* * *

 

 

                Rapunzel had found freedom by dragging herself to where the floor hadn’t been cover in ice by using the legs of the breakfast table to pull herself along with Anna placed on her back. Once on normal flooring, it was just a matter of dragging Anna by her ankles to Elsa’s study. She had started by dragging her by carrying her under the arms but Rapunzel hadn’t liked how Anna’s head had fell forward so limply and was worried she give her neck damage. She didn’t realise that as they went up the stairs, Anna’s head bounced on each step but it’s the sentiment of the dragging that counted, not its execution.

                Currently Anna was laid out on the chaise lounge in Elsa’s study. Rapunzel always wondered why Elsa had a chaise lounge in her study; was more of a piece of furniture for the boudoir not a place where serious trade delegations were drew up. Neither Elsa nor Anna had suitors that Rapunzel knew of so it couldn’t be used when “entertaining” them; the only time two people were in Elsa’s study for an extended period of time was when Anna went for a “private talk” with Elsa, leaving Rapunzel with Pascal and that weird little affectionate snowman to entertain themselves for what sometimes were as long as an hour!

                Rapunzel was currently wafting smelling salts under Anna’s nose to try and rose her when Elsa burst in followed by a menacing ice wind and her panicked entourage of advisors.

                “But your Majesty, you surely must reconsider” one of them said in a panicked voice “what you propose doing could be seen as an act of war!”

                “I don’t care, Arendelle will have its supply of Belgium Chocolate returned or I’ll die trying!” said Elsa shaking her fist.

                Rapunzel tried not to meet the Queen’s eyes out of fear that looking at such anger directly was liable to make her heart stop so instead continued to busy herself reviving Anna.

                “What are you using there?” Elsa snapped at Rapunzel.

                “Sm… smelling salts” said Rapunzel without looking at the Queen.

                “Oh that’ll never work” said Elsa “Here, use these…”

                Elsa trailed off and looked pitifully at the box of chocolate in her hands that she was about to hand to Rapunzel. It was Pierre’s Choc-o-door Yum Yam Delights, some of the best chocolates to be found in Belgium and possibly the last in the Kingdom of Arendelle if Elsa couldn’t re-establish the supply. No, she couldn’t think like that, she was going to be successful in her mission.

                “Here” Elsa said bitterly as she shoved the box into Rapunzel’s hand “try wafting these under her nose”

                Rapunzel nodded and walked back over to Anna. She knelt down beside her and opened the box of chocolates. She picked one at random and began waving it under Anna’s nose who immediately responded with twitching eyes and half murmurs.

                “Is that a salted caramel cup!” Anna suddenly exclaimed, eyes pinging wide.

                She quickly leant forward and snatched the chocolate with her mouth, nipping Rapunzel’s fingers in the process.

                “Ouch!” exclaimed Rapunzel “I think you drew blood!”

                “Did I?” said Anna sitting up “I thought it tasted a little bit off”

                “I should have warned you, Rapunzel, Anna has a tendency to bite” said Elsa in a strangely sultry voice to Rapunzel’s ears.

                “Oh you know too well” said Anna back with the same strange seductive tones.

                Anna and Elsa locked eyes for a moment intensely stared at each other as Rapunzel and Arendelle’s advisors looked on confused. The pair realised they weren’t alone and broke eye contact, Elsa going as far to cough inconspicuously.

                “Anyways, I’ve summoned you two here to discuss some important business before I leave” said Elsa pointing to Anna and Rapunzel.

                “I really think you need to reconsider your Maj…”

                “I said this is happening! Defy me again and I’ll freeze your butts off!” shouted Elsa before returned to a normal volume “Now, me and my advisors are heading to Belgium to clear up this little… problem. Normally I’d leave one of them behind to look after the kingdom but I feel I need all them to help with the inevitable delegations. It is vital we don’t fail!”

                “So where do we come into all this?” asked Anna ponderously.

                “Oh, right! I need you two look after the kingdom while I’m gone”

                “Yes!” Anna cheered.

                “What!?” exclaimed Rapunzel simultaneously.

                “I should be gone only for a few days and all you have to do is make sure the kingdom falls into no danger, do you think you can do that?”

                “I err… don’t know, it’s a lot of responsibility and…” Rapunzel began.

                “Of course we’ll do it!” Anna interjected.

                “What? Anna! Do you know anything about running a kingdom?” Rapunzel tried to say under her breath to Anna but failed.

                “Now come on Rapunzel, you’re 21, same age as me, there’s no reason to be nervous” said Elsa in a menacing tone that did nothing to abate Rapunzel’s nerves.

                “Come on, Rapunzel, it’ll be fun! It’ll be like a sleep over!” said Anna, practically bouncing.

                “I suppose…” Rapunzel pondered.

                “Fantastic! Well if that’s settled, I have a ship to catch, come on men” said Elsa as she ushered her advisors to follow who solemnly obeyed.

                “Wait! I didn’t agree to it yet, let me at least have time to consider!” cried Rapunzel as she chased after Elsa who was proceeding at such a rapid pace; Rapunzel swore she was gliding on ice or something.

                “No time to argue, Rapunzel, duty calls!” Elsa said as went out the palace front door with advisors and slamming it behind her.

                “Wait! No! You can’t do this to me Elsa!” said Rapunzel as she dropped onto her rear and began to rock back and forth in panic, gripping her knees.

                “Oh come on Rapunzel, it won’t be that bad”

                Rapunzel wanted to believe her but couldn’t because of that glint of devilish mischief in Anna’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

                Once aboard the Royal Ship, Elsa ordered for it to cast off.

                “Captain, set sail for Belgium!” she roared determinedly.

                The captain gave the order to weigh anchor and set sail. The ship began to crawl from the dock at an infuriatingly slow pace.

                “Why are we moving so slowly?!” Elsa barked.

                “Sorry your majesty, low winds today” the Captain said apologetically.

                Elsa let out a low growl before summoning a bitter ice wind that filled the sails and sent them zipping out to sea. She stood at the prow laughing maniacally as her advisor held on her dear life and the captain took a swig of rum from his hip flask, having horrible flashbacks to tales he was told of sea disasters as a lad.

 

* * *

 

                Rapunzel was trying to distract herself from the pressure of being Arendelle’s new co-leader by tending to small regal duties around the palace. She was in the dining room picking out which dish should be served as starter for an upcoming event. She had Pascal on hand for a second opinion; he was turning a certain colour to indicate his opinion on each dish. She wasn’t sure what all the colours meant; especially when he turned bright purple upon tasting a nice but uninspiring Carrot and Coriander soup.

               As she tasted the dishes, Anna walked up carrying a candle stick as a sceptre and wearing the Tree Branch Crown the trolls had given her. She walked up to Rapunzel and saw what she was doing and crossed her arms disapprovingly.

                “Rapunzel, what are you doing?” she said, cocking her head and causing her crown to slip forward.

                “Just looking after the kingdom by taking care of Elsa’s royal duties for today, like she asked” said Rapunzel dismissively.

                “Pfft, that’s boring! When will you ever get a chance like this again; to rule a kingdom all by yourself?” Anna said excitedly.

                “When I inherit the throne to Corona” said Rapunzel flatly.

                “Yeah, but I won’t, I’m like third in line to the throne” said Anna passively.

                “Don’t you mean, first? Until Elsa has children, you’re next in line” Rapunzel corrected.

                “No, apparently because Elsa made Olaf and Marshmallow, they’re technically her children and get dibs on the throne first” said Anna seemingly unbothered.

                Rapunzel tried to shake from her mind the image of King Olaf and his declaration of warm hugs for all or else.

                “Come on, let’s have some fun” said Anna as she picked Rapunzel and lead her from her seat to the hallway.

                “I dunno…” said Rapunzel unconvinced.

                “Oh come on! Don’t be such a stick in the mud” said Anna but noticed she wasn’t convincing Rapunzel “Say, what is the one thing you don’t like about being back home in the palace in Corona?”

                “Well… Mum and Dad don’t let me paint on the walls like I did in the tower…” said Rapunzel sheepishly.

                “Well there you go then!” exclaimed Anna “I, as acting Queen of Arendelle, say you, Princess Rapunzel of Corona, are hereby commissioned to paint a mural on the walls of the palace!”

                “But won’t Elsa mind?” said Rapunzel timidly but regretting she said anything because she was already itching to paint out all the ideas that had burst into her head.

                “She can’t mind because she’s not Queen at the moment, I am!” said Anna as regally as she could muster “Now somebody fetch this girl some paint and brushes and someone bring me my horse!”

 

* * *

 

                 “Your majesty, please, I’ve looked at this letter and it bears no markin…”

                “I said I don’t want to hear it, we are going to Belgium and demanding for our chocolate back!”

                “But your majesty…”

                “That’s it! Captain!” cried Elsa.

                “Yes, your majesty” he replied.

                “Seal my advisors in the brig! I don’t wish to hear their tattle anymore until we get to Belgium”

 

* * *

 

 

                “I can’t believe I’m doing this!” said Rapunzel giddily “I haven’t had a chance to paint murals in years!”

                “I know, it’s amazing!” giggled Anna “and I’m so glad you’re painting again, they’re so beautiful”

                “Thank you, Anna” said Rapunzel with a little bow, turning away from her painting of a Spanish Fiesta on the gap of wall between the library bookcases and the ceiling “Anna… what are you doing?”

                “Oh, playing chess with my horse” said Anna with a smile like nothing was wrong.

                “W…why?” said Rapunzel, wrinkling her nose in confusion.

                “Because I always lose to Elsa so I wanted someone I could beat and I think I have this guy right where I want him”

                Anna horse whinnied for her attention and Anna looked back at the game to find herself in a perilous situation.

                “What?! Check, how can this be?” said Anna throwing her arms in the air in frustration “Oh yeah, well try this!” said Anna, dramatically slamming down her knight.

                The horse inspected the chess board momentarily before picking up a rook with its mouth and moving it in front of Anna’s king and letting out a series of whinnies that sounded almost like maniacal laughter.

                “Checkmate?! Oh come on, that wasn’t fair! I never noticed his rook!” Anna lamented.

                “I don’t know much about chess but aren’t you supposed to move your king in a check situation, like to get him out of danger?” Rapunzel shrugged.

                “Oh shh up, Blondie” said Anna as she beaned Rapunzel between the eyes with her defeated king.

 

* * *

 

 

               Kristoff stepped out from his cabin on the mountain side to enjoy the beautiful day. He breathed in the beautiful smells of the peaceful day but found his nose assaulted by the heavy aromas of smoke and fire.

                Puzzled, Kristoff looked about to check if the woods weren’t on fire and noticed the tower of thick black smoke ascending over the tree line. He ran to somewhere he could see the source of the smoke better and saw it was coming from the palace.

                Kristoff panicked and leap a top Sven who began to charge for the palace. They were there in a few minutes flat and thankfully found that none of the palace was on fire. They did find however a bonfire in one of the gardens that appeared to be made up of clothes.

                Kristoff was worried; the palace had no guards posted and the walls seemed to be dotted with murals of suns and geckos. Kristoff silently proceeded through the palace main doors. The interior was no better with paper strewn everywhere and furniture upturned all over the place. Kristoff was just starting to call for Anna when she came barrelling around the corner stood on her horse’s back trying to keep balance. Her horse looked terrified but Anna hadn’t seemed to notice.

                “Hey Kristoff” Anna said lazily as her horse continued to charge before crashing into Sven and causing Anna to fall into Kristoff’s arms “Haha, nice catch”

                Kristoff could only look at Anna in disbelief. She was clearly drunk by how she slightly slurred her words and by the fact he could smell the alcohol on her breath.

                “What’s going on here?” asked Kristoff as he deposited Anna on the ground.

                “Oh me and Punzy are just having some fun” said Anna almost stumbling over.

                “Ok… but what’s with the fire outside?”

                “Oh that! Rapunzel and I were burning our undergarments”

                “…why?”

                “Oh you would say that, wouldn’t you?! You male oppressor! Women’s liberation!” said Anna throwing her arms in the air but losing balance and failing over backwards and causing her dress to fall up, confirming for Kristoff she hadn’t been lying about what was on the bonfire.

                He helped her up so she could keep at least some of her modesty “So why are you drunk?” he asked, sounding very concerned.

                “Oh because Whale bone corsets don’t exactly burn easily so we needed something to get it started and Punzy dared me to take a sip” said Anna before bursting into hysterics.

                “How has Elsa let you get away with this?”

                “She’s not here!” said Rapunzel swinging into the hallway on a rope of bed sheets tied from her waist and landing expertly on her feet “she went to go shout at the Belgians or something”

                “What do you mean, Belgians?” said Kristoff completely confused.

                “Oh, she left three days ago and put me and Punzy in charge, she went because of something about the Belgians cutting off our chocolate supply from them” said Anna idly while propping herself against Kristoff “Elsa was pretty mad; I was too but Gin has mellowed me out” she said with guffaw.

                It suddenly dawned on him what they meant and his blood ran cold. His mind raced back to the night he and Eugene had hung out all those weeks ago and how when very drunk, the idea of the prank had been formed. They thought it was just a dumb joke that the girls would first find annoying but then laugh about; not take seriously! Kristoff shuddered when he thought of how angry Elsa would be when she inevitably found out. He had to escape!

                “Err…I got to go!” said Kristoff before spinning on his heels and charging from the palace as fast as his legs would carry.

                Sven had managed to finally disentangle himself from Anna’s horse and ran after Kristoff, confused as to what on earth was wrong.

                Anna watched from the door way as the door slowly swung shut under its own weight. Kristoff looked back as he ran and saw Anna begin to fall backwards as the door shut and heard her fall into a heap after the door shut and heard Rapunzel shout.

                “Get up Anna! I can see the fire between your legs!” before bursting into feverous giggles.

 

* * *

 

               

                Elsa’s ship came into dock at Arendelle Harbour. Once moored, Elsa’s advisors got off the ship without a word and silently marched for the palace.

                “Oh come on, how was I to know they’d retaliate like that? You can’t stay silent on me forever!” Elsa called to her advisors.

                “Your majesty, what happened was a debacle! We go there and by the luck of the gods, the Belgian authorities were good humoured about your mistake and thinking this obviously fake letter was real! But did you really have to then demand for them to double your chocolate supply or you’d go to war with them?” one of her advisors said with blood shot eyes.

                “It was a spur of the moment affair, and I felt silly for my mistake. I was… reasserting authority.” Elsa said with a bright smile.

                Her advisors just shook their heads and moved on. Elsa had been lucky; she’d made such a fuss upon arriving in the first Belgian harbour they found and demanding an audience with the local official that she never announced who she was. The matter had been sorted after the official pointed out that the Belgium Government’s seal didn’t have two crossed sticks of chocolate and neither was it drawn onto letter by hand. When Elsa made her angry demands of more chocolate, the local official had her escorted to her ship. That would have been fine but Elsa ordered for the captain to fire on the harbour and that’s when the ships were sent after them.

                The captain came walking past Elsa and he was shaking like a leaf. Elsa gave him a warming smile but he just looked back in shock.

                “Fantastic sailing, Captain” Elsa said warmly.

                “Yes… I think I won’t be sailing no more though…” he said before entering the nearest tavern.

                “Oh, how terrible for him… ah well, time to see how Anna managed!” said Elsa before walking for the Palace.

 

* * *

 

 

                When Elsa pushed open the doors, she was greeted with chaos. Not a single inch of wall had escaped being painted and now certain pieces were starting to cross over. Furniture was smashed and a chandelier was in pieces on the floor. Elsa eyes were wide with fright.

                They’d been raided by artistic pirates; was what Elsa’s first thought. But then a rope of bed sheets with a loop on the end shot into view from one of the doors and hooked a chandelier that was still attached to the ceiling. Then Rapunzel came swinging in with the other end of the rope around her waist. She swung out of the hallway again and gave the rope a flick to loosen it from the chandelier. After she departed, Elsa watched the plaster around the chandelier’s brace crumble, sending it to the floor to smash.

                “Anna!” Elsa screamed!

                “Wuh?” said Anna as she stumbled to the top of the stairs, her eyes blood shot.

                “Are you drunk?” Elsa gasped.

                “Yeah, what about it? Ruling is stressful” said Anna before taking a swig from her bottle.

                Elsa pinched the bridge of her nose “Well it seems my mistake to leave you in charge was for nothing. The letter was a fake”

                “Fake? W… well who sent it?” said Anna before losing balance.

                Elsa had been walking up the stairs meeting Anna just in time to catch her from her fall.

                “I suppose I can’t be mad, power is a corrupting force. Come on, we’ll go to my office and have some private time. Where are Kai and Gerda by the way?”

                “Hiding in the basement” said Anna as she leapt into Elsa’s arms.

                Elsa rolled her eyes but still willingly obliged to carry Anna.

                “Very well, we’ll fetch them later. After all, don’t want them disturbing us” said Elsa as they walked into her office.

                Elsa sat in her chair and Anna shifted herself to sit better in Elsa’s lap. Anna took Elsa’s face in her hands and though her breath reeked of alcohol, Elsa leaned in to meet her kiss. The doors to Elsa’s office swung shut as Elsa cast an icy breeze against them to give the two of them privacy.

 

* * *

 

 

                “This is so fun, Pascal! I haven’t painted like this since the tower! But I’m running out of wall… where’s there left to paint?” Rapunzel lamented.

                Pascal shrugged.

                “Oh! Elsa’s Office! And I saw Elsa and Anna go in there about half an hour ago! They can tell me what they want painted!” Rapunzel said excitedly.

                Pascal nodded quickly before leaping on her shoulder as Rapunzel ran upstairs excited and down the corridor to Elsa’s Office. She came to the door and slammed into it shoulder first, bursting into the room.

                “I’m here to paint your off-ARGH! Why are you naked!? What are you doing with your ton… down their… in her… fire” was all Rapunzel could say before fainting.

                “Oh my… do we help her?” said Elsa half concerned.

                “In a minute, I’m kind of close” said Anna breathlessly.

                Elsa shrugged and continued.


End file.
